Little Post, Big Thoughts

So I just realized that I start a lot of sentences with "so."

Anyway...I'll be posting a tad hastily today because I have about thirty minutes before I have to leave my trusty spot at the Drunken Monkey and be somewhere else.  It will be a nice change though as I hope the next spot is warmer (ice cold air conditioning and a vegan milkshake do not make for a toasty Alexis).  I do wish I had a bit more time because I've got a lot on my mind and nowhere to put it.

Have I mentioned how very delicious the vegan milkshakes at Drunken Monkey are?  They're amazing.

On to the big stuff.

So (See?  There I go again) I posted recently about the loneliness that creeps up on me, and while that still rings true I feel the need to point out that I'm not one to settle.  I'm actually incredibly picky and it takes a lot to wow me into forming a crush or getting an inkling of like.  I pretty much know what I'm looking for, and if I don't see it you're out of luck.

I also don't really plan on jumping head first into a crazy relationship just because I don't like being all alone.  Especially because, hello, I've got approximately six months to go before I've moved to another country.  And while the moving to another country thing hinders a few things, I don't think it ruins my chances of starting something here before I go (iSight and iChat exist for a reason).  I bring this up because someone mentioned it to me the other day in context of "What will you do if...?"

What will I do?

I will hope that the person is worth making long-distance work, that's what I'll do.  Because that's one of a few options.  The others being...break up or he can frickin' move to London.  Basically, as to wondering if I fell madly in love with someone in six months and they asked me not to go I know that I'd say they shouldn't have asked and then get on the plane.

As much as I would love to be in a relationship, I can't manage to not be irritated at the thought of my whole life revolving around one.  I lost my individuality and lost sight of myself with the last one I was in and I very much refuse to allow that to happen again.  A good relationship allows that other person to be who they are and do what they have to do.  The process of getting back to myself after that messed up relationship (it didn't start off that way, but it went sour the closer it got to the end) was just so long and draining and I wouldn't want to do it again...especially because that would mean getting myself into another relationship that has to end because it's bad in order to get to the point of needing to get over it.  It would be a vicious cycle and you see where I'm going with this.

Anyway...I have to go but that's been on my mind and I wanted to get it out because, my dear readers, I know quite a few that empathised with that loneliness post and I want you to know that you should not have to sacrifice yourself in order to get rid of loneliness.  Plus, just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you won't end up feeling lonely sometimes anyway...

Mwah!  I'll write something more eloquent soon...